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Commercial Break: KFC’s “I Ate the Bones” is Stupid… and Awesome

June 12, 2013
This actor should be given an Oscar for pulling off such a realistic performance of something that COULD NEVER HAPPEN

This actor should be given an Oscar for pulling off such a realistic performance of something that COULD NEVER HAPPEN

Writing about this KFC campaign was all but inevitable.  By now, everyone knows of KFC’s obnoxious – yet incredibly effective – advertising campaign of “I ate the bones!”  If you’re living under a rock or are one of those “too cool for TV” kids, here are the two commercials:

Watching them back-to-back, I find the one with the father to be a little more tolerable.  I mean, it’s not him that freaks out over something that is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO DO.  It’s his young, naive children who first point out that he ate the bones.  Or rather, he POTENTIALLY ate the bones.  The father, of course, goes into freak out mode, exclaiming to the heavens that he ate the bones, while his children stare up at him, their faces displaying the sad realization that their father might actually have Down Syndrome.

The first commercial with the bro’s is simply unacceptable.  This is a group of grown ass men sitting together and enjoying a meal of fried chicken made quickly for convenience.  They should possess the basic understanding that mistakingly eating the bones in a piece of fried chicken is IMPOSSIBLE TO DO WITHOUT NOTICING.  As homeboy freaks out here, his friends look about aghast, but not in the same sense the children do in the second commercial.  Their’s is not one of dawning realization that the man responsible for their existence is a complete retard, but more that they might have consumed the bones, as well.  Idiots and fools abound throughout this ad campaign.

And yet, I cannot deny the catchphrase possesses spark and memorability.  It’s rather fun to belt out “I ATE THE BONES!” in any given, random moment.  I might even apply it in all areas of my life – if I get pulled over and the cop asks me why I was speeding, I’ll retort: “Because I ate the bones!!”  When my mother calls and asks me how I’m doing, I’ll answer: “Doing okay, except I ATE THE BONES!”  When a lawyer serves me with papers, I’ll merely shrug and listlessly say: “Looks like I ate the bones.”  Truly, this catch phrase works in all aspects of life.

And so, even though this ad campaign brings Americans into new heights of stupidity, it also leaves us with an exclamatory phrase that is more fun than it should be.  It’s difficult to truly despise these commercials when they deliver what commercials are supposed to deliver – memorability.  Of course, I’m sure us yelling “I ate the bones!” will follow the path of the “Whhaaaaaattsup” Budweiser guys from back in the days of yore.  But before it reaches its peak and becomes a played out fad, let us all enjoy the eating of the bones together, as one nation, united in stupidity.


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