Commercial Break: If You See Ray Liotta in a Bar, Be Careful – He’s a Dick
While watching TV last night, this commercial popped up, featuring the very plastic surgery-stretched face of Ray Liotta ordering 1800 tequila at a bar. Take a look:
Couple things here:
1. Ray Liotta is a dick for making these bro’s feel bad about their choice of beverage. Who gives Ray Liotta the ultimate say on what is “manly” to drink? Those fellas were sipping on some Manhattans, which my grandfather used to order any and every time we went out to eat (hell, he’d ever try to order a Manhattan at McDonald’s). And Ray Liotta thinks tequila is what these dudes need to drink in order to “man up”? Dude, tequila is most known to be taken in shot form by bimbo college girls on spring break. It’s not scotch or whiskey – drinks more known for their rugged, “manly” quality. Tequila? Really?
2. And who the fuck drinks tequila on ice like that? Nobody I know. Like I said, tequila is more known to be consumed as shots by college bro’s and HO’s looking to get laid, and in margarita form by the girls hitting up happy hour after work. If anything, I’d say going from a Manhattan to tequila is a downgrade in “manliness.”
3. These bro’s are weak and stupid for blindly being intimidated by Ray Liotta. A REAL man is confident in what he orders, even if it’s the fruitiest, girliest cocktail ever made. As long as you order that shit with AUTHORITY, nobody can question your masculinity. Try it sometime. Go to a bar, scan the drink menu for the pinkest, brightest cocktail they have, and order that shit like it’s a motherfuckin’ IPA with an 11 ALC/VOL. Ain’t no washed up actor still living on their Goodfellas performance gonna say shit to you then! It’s all about attitude, bro’s.
And with that, I’m off to buy a Mike’s Hard Lemonade…